Hire your master
Among those who serve you, you should hold in particularly high regard those who are better than you, those who like people, those with a good sense of humour, and those who are your fans.
Napoleon Hill refers to creating a “mastermind”.
This is about building bonds where there is a connection that sometimes begins tenuously, but over time becomes powerful.
Expressions like “soulmates” or “love at first sight” are known ways of referring to the occurrence of such connections.
Creating a “mastermind” means having someone to discuss ideas with. Someone who offers a sufficient feeling of harmony, so as to establish the conditions for constructive exchange.
As long as you surround yourself with more enlightened minds that are in tune with yours, you can rest assured that it will be easier to achieve ideas, plans and results.
Men like Henry Ford and Andrew Carnegie mostly owe their success to the quality of their relationships.
Those who are wise to surround themselves with better people benefit from better results.
Vanities are beasts that must be kept in their cages. They should be confined to the boundaries of prudence.
Keep your vanities at bay. Think about the results you will get in the long term.
Vanity makes people envy and belittle their best peers. It makes people surround themselves with friends and collaborators below their level.
In doing this, they believe they are capable leaders, they appear to be smarter.
All those who give in to this kind of vanity would change their minds if they measured the time wasted and the difference in the quality of their actions.
Mediocre people only achieve mediocre results.
Isaac Newton said: “if I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants”. By “giants” he meant the likes of Kepler and Galileo.
Columbia University once conducted a survey of 200 famous people hailing from the most diverse fields of knowledge. In all cases, the success of these people was noticeably marked by a strong influence from their educators or mentors.
If you lack good strategies to find people for your own circle, carefully read chapter “How to find the right person”.
How to find the right person
At the age of 60, Clayton decided to emigrate. He sought a quiet place, with a good climate, where he could remain active.
As he sat next to me, in the shade of one of the beautiful trees whose flowers decorated the colourful place where we were, Clayton began to tell his story.
He lived in a region that was constantly battered by typhoons and earthquakes. There, every year, he rebuilt himself using everything that nature had brought him.
“I’m moving!” It took him a few months to advance from thoughts to action.
This required a cautious decision. At his age, the risks had to be minimised. He had to avoid emotional choices or advice from neighbours.
With the help of his family, he began by listing everything that was important to them. Then, they listed potential locations for their new home. An even longer discussion helped to narrow it down to only a few choices.
They had a decision table, among other resources. After the calculations had been made, one of the potential locations would be chosen over the others.
But what was there to do, on a remote island in the middle of the ocean?
He then remembered that, in any location, there are four types of important people:
- those who know everyone;
- those who know influential people;
- those who know people who know influential people; and
- those who know who needs to be known.
He then began to reach out to his network: first to his close friends, then his friends’ friends, and then he left.
It was then that, with a happy moustache, he told me about his feats in that little paradise island in the middle of the ocean.
You should know those who are relevant to each of your tasks.
Find out what is important to each of those people.
Are you able to meet the needs of each of them? Are you not? Then figure out how to meet them—learn from those who know it.
Charm those people. Exceed their expectations. You will be the best!
When it comes to how you wish to approach quality, there are two choices:
To guess what the other person wants.
To ask them directly.
Choosing winners
In my attempts to hire candidates for the most diverse positions, I did many interviews and also observed many others. The ones that impressed me the most were those in which the interviewer asked about subjects that had nothing to do with the skills required for the position.
Chris Albert, who is one of the best headhunters I have ever known, explained it to me.
“I don’t care if you’re qualified. I care if you have the potential to be a winner.
I don’t care how you pay your bills. I want to know what’s eating away at your will to fight.
I don’t care how old you are. I want to know if you’re in love with your dreams.
I don’t care what you learned at school.
I want to know what you do when you’re battered by failure in life. Do you give up, or do you get back on your feet and insist on winning?
I want to know if you’re thrilled by the victories of your peers, or if you pretend to admire them when you actually underestimate them.
I also don’t care about the truth in the story you tell me. I want to know the story your former boss, your relatives and your subordinates have to tell about you.
I don’t want to know what you teach. I want to know what your mum taught you.”
The master of divination
Anyone who makes guesses about someone else’s life—with or without some crystal ball—is in fact either a master at getting people to talk or a master at reading signs.
Knowing the importance of correctly identifying the aspirations of the people we wish to serve, I decided to go and listen to one of these masters of divination, so that I could learn a few things from them.
“The so-called ‘cold reading’ follows certain precepts. Its improvement depends on the practice and the sensitivity of the person who embraces it. Like everything else, it requires 90 per cent perspiration and 10 per cent inspiration”, as the master said.
“The first step is to win the customer’s trust. You have to believe in what you’re doing and play the part. In fact, you should risk believing that you’re actually guessing.
Then you have to work your way up. Read all the data, statistics, information about the customs and habits of different cultures. Read manuals on divination, because you’ll find lots of phrases there that will help you. Memorise them. Collect this data in an organised way. So, for example, if your customer is from India, check your notes. Find out their level of education, religion, where they work, what their parents do or did, how many children and grandchildren they have. This will make it easier for you to predict your customer’s preferences and attitudes.”
“The next step is to be modest. Don’t say anything that sounds pretentious, don’t say anything that could be interpreted as a challenge. The customer has to be open to what you’re going to hear and say. They can’t get defensive.
Then, you have to ensure the customer’s cooperation. Make it clear that, based on plenty of experience you’ve accumulated over the years, you can conclude that the results depend on their cooperation.
Communication is difficult because the interpretation is not always exact. That’s why the client has to be attentive and try to match the things you say to their own life. In this way, the client will be ‘sure’ that you have told them much more than you actually did.
It also helps to have something (cards, tarot, crystal ball, the customer’s hand) to support you. That will allow to you create a specific atmosphere. It will also give you time to reflect, even rephrase your question. Use questions to try to find out the person’s main interest.”
“Pay particular attention to everything that is said. Observe the clothes, personal belongings, behaviour, tone of voice. Pay extra attention to the reactions to the things you say. You’ll learn as you get it right.”
“Ask a question. Then, as soon as the customer answers, repeat what you’ve said, to keep up the conversation and get them to talk about themselves. If you see that your statement has a positive effect, then reaffirm it. As you manage your statements, the client is forced to rummage through their memory, to find corresponding moments in their own life, as well as specific examples that validate the general statement.”
“Build images around each revelation.
Give the impression that you know more than you’re letting on. When the customer admits that you know everything, you will tap into a wealth of information that you would never get through normal channels. At this point, trust has been earned.
Finally, tell the customer what they want to hear.”
The magician who read coffee grounds
I once went to a session with a magician who could guess by reading coffee grounds that he spread on a plate. The customer was a friend of mine who allowed me to be present as an observer.
My friend was visibly impatient when he walked in. He really wanted to talk.
The magician let him. I kept track of the timing: my friend spoke for 70 per cent of the entire session. After we left, I asked my friend about the results. He praised the magician and, to my surprise, remarked that he himself had barely said half a dozen words.
This is the case for most people: when they seek somebody for advice, they are in fact merely seeking somebody to listen to them, or to validate choices that were already made.
Create pleasant surprises
Emotion is greater when something unexpected happens.
Losing someone in an accident is different from losing someone to illness.
Winning the lottery is different from earning a salary.
Likewise, the feeling is stronger if we get a gift in the middle of the year, rather than on our birthday.
Anything that breaks the routine, the order of things and the obligations is immediately recognised as something different. And it puts you on a higher level.
Study and be creative. Do everything you can to surprise people favourably.
Those to be charmed come first
If you have to decide between meeting your own needs first or the needs of the people you wish to please, make no mistake: they come first.
There is some research into aspects that are considered to define quality. And it has singled out some very important elements:
- Being individualised, diligent attention;
- Being helpfulness, friendliness; and
- Immediate availability to the person in question.
- Because if you do not meet the needs of others, someone else will.
Needs are not wants. Those who are enslaved tend to wants. Those who serve tend to needs.
The crystal ball
David was not very outgoing. Few people knew him when he joined our group.
There was no habit of exchanging gifts on festive dates among the professionals who worked in the companies. At most, they would play “amigo oculto”. In this game, each person in the group first draws somebody else from the group, who is their “secret friend” (hence the name of the game), and buys a gift for this person. The identity of each secret friend remains unknown until the gifts are exchanged (it is somewhat similar to Secret Santa).
On a certain Christmas day, a beautiful parcel had been delivered to me, at home. The paper, the bow and the box were completely unique and beautiful.
I was still surprised when I opened the box. Inside it, there was a beautiful faceted crystal ball, that sparkled as if it had a light of its own. At the bottom of the box, there was a simple message of inspiration, motivating me to follow the path to success.
The next day, when I went to see David—who happened to the sender of the gift—and thank him, there were people waiting in line. It turned out he had sent a unique gift to each of them.
That was David’s style. He never spoke much. He did not attend parties. However, he had a way of making an unforgettable experience out of every contact.
If he was unable to give big gifts, he would give small ones. The gifts were always well-chosen and beautiful. He would always make sure that every detail conveyed unique and genuine care.
Invest in your neighbours
I once asked a farmer why he offered his best seeds to his neighbours, since these were his biggest competitors on the market. “It’s simple”, he told me. “The wind and the insects bring pollen from their fields to mine. If I want good harvests, I need to help my neighbours. Their success is my success.”
Solidarity is a matter of survival.
Similarly, everything will work in our favour if we create an environment that supports our evolution.
Try to be different, exotic, fun and exciting in everything you do.
And do not forget: it is not enough if it is just good. It also needs to be beautiful.
Charm as a Strategy
There are different types of banks. Some deal with money, others with seeds. However, the most important of all banks is the “bank of life”.
In this case, you “deposit” prompt and unequivocal solidarity, surpassing expectations, in order to “withdraw” recognition.
Give more than you take, and soon you will be earning more than you give.
The concept of “total product”, as described by Harvard Business School professor Theodore Levitt, involves exceeding the customer’s expectations by delivering more than they expect. But the applications of this concept can reach beyond industry and commerce.
Whether we are dealing with children, employees, friends, superiors, sincere concern should be the same. This is the way to charm.
If you develop a routine in which you look for ways to exceed expectations in everything you do or produce for others, you will soon be the one people seek, the one they remember and choose to reach out to.
If you fail to cater for everyone, it is only natural that there will be competition for you, your service or your product.
You will get even better results if you perform these tasks with sincere joy. However, in order to fuel your creativity and joy, you need motivation, which is easily achieved when you enjoy what you are doing, when you enjoy the involved effort, and not just the result.
In this bank of life, positive balance is called recognition and negative balance is called indifference or aversion.
In our accounts, we make deposits of honesty, solidarity, attention, recognition, courtesy, humility, and these yield us trust.
We make withdrawals when behave in the opposite way, i.e., when we make mistakes. Some of these mistakes are so severe that they cut the balance down to zero.
A behavioural expert says that “for each withdrawal, four deposits are needed to recover the previous balance”.
That is why we must be careful when making withdrawals. For example, “trust can be broken with a simple act of indiscretion”.
Refrain from destructive remarks.
Before you make a potentially harmful remark, reflect on this:
- Will this remark help my relationship?
- Will this remark help the person I am talking to?
- Will this remark help the person I am speaking of?
Do not make the remark if the answer is no.
The Man who knew “too much”
Raphael Schneider was an important banker I knew. He was already over 70 years old. Business was his hobby. His main skill was to have the best specialist for each of his businesses.
I was introduced to him by a mutual friend. 10 years passed before we met again. When we did meet again, he cracked a big smile and called me by name. He asked about my wife and children. He did not forget their names, what they did and where we lived. When I said goodbye, he asked me about that dog that used to accompany me on my walks.
This made it very clear how he managed to attract so much talent to his businesses.
Some time after that occasion, I asked his secretary how could it be possible for someone at that age to have such a sharp memory. She told me his secret in discrete whispers.
The magic … When he met someone for the first time, he would ask their name, their story and If said person managed to arouse his interest to the point and he would fear forgetting about them, he would make his way to the bathroom, where he would take notes. Every day, before going to bed, no matter how tired he was, he would put his notes in a binder where the sheets were ordered alphabetically. Whenever he missed some information, he would ask his aides to fetch that information. Whenever he learnt he would be meeting someone he had not seen in a long time, he would turn to his files and recall everything that was of interest to this person.
As in any other art, nobody become a virtuoso without takes 90 per cent perspiration.
So, if you wish to become an expert in the art of rapport, work hard on everything that will help you develop and perfect your technique.
Practise, read again, develop tools and, above all, discipline yourself. Do not put off the necessary things.
Remember that laziness is the most expensive thing we pay for throughout our lives.
We all have it, to a greater or lesser extent.
Some pay the price of success for it.
Show sympathy for other people’s ideas and wishes.
The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.
(John Dewey)
Saint-Exupéry said…
“It was the time you spent with your rose that made your rose so important.”
And I say: it is the time we gain with each friend that makes each friend so important. Because when you spend time with friends, this is time that you actually gain, enjoy, live.
Always remember this.
Solidarity is a way of surviving.
Whatever you do, care for others so that they may care for you.
Show genuine interest in others, both in small gestures and in the way you practise them.
The price maker
Edgar Potter is undoubtedly the best-paid dentist that I know of.
His dental reconstruction service costs the same as a luxury car.
Years ago, I did some consulting work for him, at his own request.
I sought the reasons that made him a successful man.
Even though he is a competent professional, there are others in his team who are just as good as he is.
There was no justification for him being the one I wanted, I thought, until I saw him attending to a customer. The interest he showed was surprising and even more surprising because it was innate.
Real interest in others
People will forget what you said.
They will forget what you did.
But they will never forget how you treated them.
To show interest in others is not mere etiquette. It is a process. The first step is to pay attention, create empathy, i.e., to be fully present in the other person’s company—physically, mentally and emotionally. To do this, you must be as available as someone who seeks to please people. You must be available at all times, whenever you are requested or your presence is thought to be necessary, but you must also know how to keep your distance, i.e., how not to overreach in your availability.
If you wish to be an expert in relationships with others, if such a goal is your burning desire, if you aim to capitalise on the “bank of life”, you must consider what is important to the other person when you set your own priorities.
Meeting the needs of others should take priority over your own priorities.
But to get the most out of these practices, you need to show “genuine interest”.
Genuine interest in others is shown both in small gestures and in the way we practise them.
The key to paradise
When you acknowledge solidarity as a necessity for survival, you build bridges, strengthen relationships and, most importantly, you enlist people willing to advertise you as a friend for whom there is no replacement.
When you advertise your services, it is the key to your business. But when others advertise your services, it is the key to paradise.
Have you ever been sick at midnight?
I have. On a Saturday. I was alone, and the pain would not go away.
Then I thought of Michael. Fortunately, there was a contact list on my phone at the time. It contained those numbers you write down for fear of memorising them incorrectly.
I called his home, but he was not there. I tried the mobile phone—it rang, and rang, and nothing. I insisted. He answered the call on my third attempt.
Michael was at a party. Fortunately, someone had heard the phone ring. As soon as I told him what was going on, he rushed to my rescue.
An hour later, I was being operated on for acute appendicitis.
Michael was that kind of person who is always there to help everyone. They need him, and he is there. Always helpful, cheerful. Whenever there is something he does not know, he reaches out to someone who does know.
A mutual friend, referring to him, said to me: “But Michael does not need to do things like that. He is a successful self-made man, he does not depend on anyone!”
One day, I asked him how he had become such an indispensable person to others. He told me the story of his humble childhood, back in rural Kentucky.
His father was a labourer at an estate. He was one of eight children, and they often did not have enough to eat. To make good use of his spare time, he ran errands and performed small tasks for the neighbours.
He had fun in making himself useful. Later, as a farm foreman, he began studying. From there, he became general manager at a logistics company.
Serving the others, is his motto. Those who know him, do the advertising for him.
If the advertise of your services, it is the key to your business, when others advertise your services, it is the key to paradise.
Show the person that you are genuinely interested in them, leaving them no room for doubt.
Address the person by their name.
Have you ever felt important?
I was somewhat struggling to plan my holidays when a very close friend invited me to go on safari in Africa. I promptly accepted it, because it was something exotic and unusual.
Africa, a continent of mysteries, where great beasts stroll across vast savannahs gazing at an antelope, as if choosing their next meal. That was it. It was something unique.
After a long journey, we arrived at the Kissama reserve, in the very heart of the continent. As soon as we jumped out of the jeep, a tall black man turned to me with a smiling face, as if he had known me for a long time, and greeted me. He called me by name. I was very surprised. There were many cars, all of them carrying visitors. How did he know me? I puffed out my chest and addressed this man in the same tone, brushing aside the exhaustion, the dust and the insect bites. I asked his name.
The name effect
Dale Carnegie, one of the masters in the art of relationships, said that our NAME is the sweetest sound we can hear.
When someone calls us by name, pronouncing it correctly, we feel important. We know we exist.
The concept of name is interesting. Nobody will take offense if you yell your name, even in formal, ceremonial settings.
The first thing we should make sure to know about any person is their name.
If you do not have a good memory, try to address the person by their name several times during the conversation. Try to make associations with other people you remember well. If you do forget the name, take a pen and a piece of paper. Ask the person how their name is spelt, how they prefer to be called, what is the proper pronunciation, what is the origin of their name.
When you pronounce someone’s name, remember how valuable it is.
You clearly demonstrate genuine interest in a person when you ask about their name and its pronunciation.
He would not talk…
The flight was delayed.
One man paced about, looking from side to side, as if measuring the objects around us.
After a while, he sat down next to me and remained silent.
I was curious.
I always watch people as they wait to catch their plane. I decided to try and converse with this man. I commented on the weather. His answer was a laconic yes. I commented on the plane. Nothing.
I then noticed that he was wearing a Jockey Club pin on his lapel. I asked him if he bred horses. At that moment, his facial expression turned into a bright one. It led to a lively conversation that ended two hours later, with a vigorous handshake and an exchange of business cards.
That quiet man turned into a prolific speaker because he was given the opportunity to speak of his passion.
The desire to be important
Philosopher John Dewey said that “the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important”.
We all wish to assert ourselves as valid, significant, remarkable people.
We do this in varying ways, depending on several factors: social factors, cultural factors, among others.
When you know something that is appealing to the other person and also makes him important, your “arsenal of charm” becomes considerably more effective
Talk about topics of interest to that person. Even better: start a conversation in one such topic and then listen to what the person has to say about it.
Explore the points that lead you to other clues. By all means, find out what is truly meaningful to that person.
When Christopher Columbus offered his services to the monarchs of Spain, he asked to be given the title of admiral of the seas, viceroy of the lands he discovered, and only then he asked for a share of 10 per cent of the riches obtained. He risked his life for the titles.
The desire for importance leads people to trade their cars every year, live in houses at prime locations, decorate their bikes, promote their children as having qualities they actually do not have, collect medals at dog shows, and many other things that, despite having no direct influence over their success, serve to polish their vanity.
I knew a general whose chest was too small to display all his decorations.
While the reasons that lead a man to risk his life for a coloured ribbon could be described by prose and verse, the true underlying reason can be summarised by a mere few words: “the desire to be important”.
Victory monuments
The first time I travelled through Italy, Spain and Portugal, I was particularly impressed by the large mansions nestled in villages with barely any signs of progress—some with signs of abandonment, even.
My curiosity made me realise that those were built by emigrants. These were men and women who left their homeland in search of a better life abroad.
Once they save up some money, often with extreme sacrifices, they return to build monuments to their success in places where there is no future, but happen to be close to the people they know.
People has the wish to be important. They seek recognition and appreciation, and they do everything they can to achieve this.
Vanity often leads them to exaggerate, which creates avoidable envy.
Find anything worthy of praise and recognise it promptly.
Let people know that you appreciate them, both for who they are and for what they do. But do it with sincerity.
Praise and flattery are different things. The difference between them is widely known.
Praise is true, flattery is false.
Praise those who deserve it, in their presence. But do not forget to also do it in their absence, at every chance you get. Sooner or later, the target of your praise will hear from someone else about the kind words you spoke in their absence. And they will appreciate it much more.
I will never forget President Kennedy’s public praise of his wife after a trip embellished by her presence, as always.
“I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris, and I have enjoyed it.”
Make yourself irreplaceable
Make yourself irreplaceable.
Make people your partners.
Be humble. Humility is a quality of winners. It is an unknown concept to losers.
I once gave a talk on “new challenges in a globalised world”. At the end of the event, one of the listeners asked me how he could get a stable job in such a reality.
I only know one way. And it does not depend on any particular field of specialisation, market or season.
Firstly, you must make yourself visible. Then, you must arouse curiosity. Finally, you must make yourself irreplaceable.
Is there anything new in what I just said? When you are driven by passion to win someone over, is your approach any different?
Being irreplaceable goes beyond being necessary.
An irreplaceable person delivers more than is expected of them, while a necessary person performs their designed functions.
An irreplaceable person seeks to anticipate your needs. A necessary person only acts upon your request.
An irreplaceable person builds the appropriate environment. A necessary person is only a part of this environment.
An irreplaceable person seeks feedback about their performance. A necessary person waits to be given feedback.
An irreplaceable person learns every day. A necessary person only learns when they feel they need to do so.
An irreplaceable person builds their reputation by the way they do things. A necessary person builds their reputation by the things they do.
Irreplaceable people work real miracles. Obviously, the miracle is not in what they do, but in the impact of their activity.
Irreplaceable people do not claim they can do it. They prove that they can do it. They spring into action and get it done.
Irreplaceable people do not settle for anything less than the best possible performance. If they do not know how to achieve this, they seek to learn from those who do know.
Irreplaceable people do not insist on being given credit for their ideas. They can live with other people claiming all the credit for these ideas.
Make people your partners
In order to live and achieve excellence, we need supporting alliances to expand our mind and our energy, and to reduce our limitations and our fears.
Building alliances means making partners out of acquaintances or suppliers.
The difference between some and others
A supplier supports you because they are supposed to do so. A partner supports you because they like to do so.
A supplier prevents you from having problems. A partner helps you solve them.
A supplier sees your problems, but these do not concern them. A partner worries about your problems because they do not like it when you are in trouble.
A supplier observes your victories. A partner celebrates your victories.
A supplier listens when you ask. A partner asks.
A supplier plays a part in your dreams. A partner strives to turn these dreams into reality.
A supplier contributes to your dream. A partner shares your dream.
A supplier asks you for good references. A partner advertises you.
A supplier helps you survive. A partner gives their life for you.
To a supplier, you are a friend to be served. To a partner, you are a brother to be protected.
We can achieve these things if we embrace the best practices in our daily relationships.
If we wish to get more than we expect, we must connect with other people, build things together, sharing dreams, victories and defeats.
A shared victory is a greater victory.
A shared defeat reduces sadness and suffering.
Be humble. Humility is a quality of winners. It is an unknown concept to losers.
Never humiliate or insult anyone. These acts may compromise self-esteem and make enemies. At the very least, they will have an impact on how everyone else respects you.
Do the opposite of that: praise qualities.
When giving directions, do not repeat what you said. If you wish to ensure someone understood you, gently ask them to comment on it. Repeating statements breaks trust.
Affection and courtesy bolster respect.
If you need to make people respect you, be firm. But do not make threats.
Hostility and comparisons do not lead to contributions, let alone partnerships.
Learn the rules of relationships
Try to be fair when you praise. Be specific, do it in public.
Try to understand those around you.
Make sure that you nurture your relationships with the concern of someone who keeps something precious.
Do not impose your will.
Read the “signs” to help you assess the quality of your relationships.
It is not a matter of “doing everything you want”. It is about making sure that “you like everything you do”.
Do you wish to make enemies? Then tell them that they are wrong. If you wish to make friends, then admit your mistake.
Happiness is not an end goal. It is a process to which you must be committed.
The only person accountable for everything that happens to you is the one you see in the mirror every morning.
Solutions are always a product of problems.
If you find yourself in doubt after having assessed the situation, pay attention to your instincts. This will allow you to figure if you should take the risks or not.
Only promise that which you are able to deliver.
Help others to have realistic expectations.
The golden word
There are two tribes.
The first—and largest one—is made of those who promise many things and deliver few things.
The second one is made of those who promise few things and deliver many things.
If you wish to be unique, if you wish to be respected and appreciated by everyone, the golden rule is: “promise only what you will actually do”.
Think ahead. Evaluate what your promise means in terms of labour, time, resources, availability, knowledge and willingness.
Then make your promise. And deliver on it.
Make conscious promises. Know how to say no, so you are prepared for the moments of doubt.
To promise and fail to deliver means to foil expectations.
If you fail to deliver, you will jeopardise your prestige.
To promise something that is too difficult means to require disproportionate efforts.
On the one hand, we must deliver more than is expected of us. On the other hand, we should not overstep by assuming the risk of failure.
You can never be too cautious when it comes to preserving your reputation, your brand.
A man of his word
Once, in the early 1970s, as we began working on a project for a small tourist town, we hired Kevin Wolf to provide a service which would not take more than eight days.
Wolf’s display of interest was such that he was given the opportunity to participate in the budgeting stage.
As we screened potential contractors to do the earthworks, Wolf mentioned the possibility of purchasing the machinery to do the job.
We rejected his proposal, on the grounds that our experience from past projects had shown us that it was always cheaper to have the machinery and the work provided by contractors. In his disappointment, Wolf said: “I can guarantee you it will cost half of the estimated price if you let me take care of it”.
We decided to take the risk. We purchased the machinery and equipment that Wolf listed in the execution project.
The service was indeed completed on time, for half the estimated price.
Years later, in an act of confession, Wolf told me about the hardships he had endured to keep his word back then.
He relied on information from product portfolios to purchase the machinery. He had never seen all that hardware in person.
When the lorries brought the deliveries, he was severely disappointed. His frustration was such that he skipped two nights of sleep in wondering how he could overcome the limitations to production capacity.
In order to keep up with schedule, he had to work three eight-hour shifts for six months. Since finding foremen to supervise three shifts was by no means an easy task, he set up a tent on site and slept there.
Once the first phase was over, his physical exhaustion was such that he was experiencing lapses of memory.
When Wolf was first hired, he was supposed to work for us for only eight days. He ended up working for our companies for 28 years.
He started out as a surveyor. He ended up as the president of an industrial enterprise and as a director of several others.
“A leader’s strength lies in their ability to persuade.”
(Howard Gardner, educationalist at Harvard University)
Communicate accurately
We now know that there is a direct relationship between the progress of a nation and the ability of its people to communicate.
- Be aware of the purpose of what you are going to say.
- Do not talk about things you lack knowledge of.
- Be aware of who your audience is.
- Communication has to be simple.
- Avoid irrelevant or tiresome details. Communicate gradually and assess your audience’s reaction to it.
- Watch out for repetitive words and phrases.
- If you are advocating a certain idea, make it clear.
- Reason with your audience.
- Be honest.
- Add some variety to avoid monotony.
Communicate clearly. Choose your words wisely. Use your imagination. Offer something people are not expecting. Do not take risks if you do not know who you are talking to.
- Ensure your language is tailored to the language of your audience. The vocabulary used must be adequately understood.
- Look your audience in the eye.
- Speak loud and clear.
- Record yourself as you speak.
- Use the mirror.
- Practise.
Being a good listener means encouraging others to talk about themselves.
Let the other person do most of the talking.
When we communicate in the right way, we build bridges, break down barriers, strengthen empathy and eliminate initial distrust.
Advertising entrepreneur Bill Bernbach said:
“The truth isn’t the truth until people believe you, and they can’t believe you if they don’t know what you’re saying, and they can’t know what you’re saying if they don’t listen to you, and they won’t listen to you if you’re not interesting, and you won’t be interesting unless you say things imaginatively, originally, freshly.”
The crossroads of life
There are three paths that meet at the crossroads of life.
- The first path is taken by those who make things happen.
- The second path is taken by those who see it (happening).
- The third path is taken by those who ask questions (about what happened).
In the book Influencing Human Behaviour, Professor Harry Overstreet says: “action springs out of what we fundamentally desire”.
If you now know what you want and how to get there, SPRING INTO ACTION!
If every journey begins with the first step, TAKE THAT FIRST STEP!
Knowledge is power only if you act on it.
You never know enough details when you have to make a decision.
A true leader believes that “courage protects the bold”.
Lead by saying yes
True leaders have the ability to align the strengths of others, regardless of how superior or inferior these people are in comparison to themselves.
True leaders trust themselves and those around them.
Trust builds leadership.
True leaders believe that “courage protects the bold”.
True leaders pick their masters.
True leaders display trust in their neighbour, so that the neighbour strives to be worthy of this trust.
True leaders make suggestions instead of giving orders.
True leaders do not humiliate others.
True leaders set challenges.
They demonstrate whatever they expect the other person to do as something easily achievable.
They act in a way that makes the other person happy, and so this person does what they suggested.
They deal with the mistakes of others with due discretion.
They never deprive a person of their hope.
They talk of their own mistakes before they talk of the mistakes of others.
They do not criticise people in public.
They explain the fault to be addressed as if it was something easy to correct.
They are all about encouragement.
They praise all progress.
They are sincere in their judgement and lavish in their praise.
They demonstrate their ideas in practice.
They do not tell the world about what they are capable of doing. They simply prove that they are capable of doing them.
They understand that work is only fruitful if it is based on leadership instead of power.
Goals embraced with passion. Tasks performed with competence.